Self-esteem: neither high nor low🧐

The construction of self-esteem should be the first concern of parents and teachers. Instead of just looking outside and at what comes to us from the outside, the habit of looking inside and observing how we behave creates in us an awareness of who we are, at the same time that it develops the capacity for interpersonal communication. One of the characteristics of self-esteem is self-acceptance. However, in order to accept ourselves we have to recognize first how we behave. Self-acceptance more than a feeling is an attitude of recognizing and accepting ourselves as we are. But how are we if no one explains it to us.

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Universal personality profiles should be known from an early age. Currently, the study that is taken into account by behavior specialists is the so-called "Big 5" (see post self-knowledge and respective test).

There are five personality traits and we all have the five. What varies from person to , person is the degree of each trait. They are agreableness,openness, concietiousness, neuroticism and extroversion. The introversion to the Big 5 standard does not exist as a trait. What exists is the low degree of extroversion.

Shyness, in turn, has to do with the trait of neuroticism.

Our psychological characteristics are the product of several factors, among which how we were educated and what was the personality profile of our caregivers, our genetics, our life experiences, our local and regional culture.

From time to time we should review our profiles, because it is certain that they are changed over time.

But it is also necessary to know which is our predominant type of temperament or those with which we live. Recognize its positive and negative aspects, so that we can seek our personal development by reducing our negative points. Our communication will take a leap in quality.

From the idea of Hippocrates, a doctor of ancient Greece, considered the Father of Medicine, on the proportionality of moods (liquids of the body), there are people choleric (strong, energetic and dominant personality) bloody (extroverted, sociable personality, tendency to optimism, joy and enthusiasm), phlegmatic (calm, relaxed and quiet personality, tendency to patience and to avoid conflicts) and melancholic (little or not at all outgoing, thoughtful personality, tendency to sadness, anxiety and depression).

When we have self-knowledge, we are more aware of what we like and what we don't like in ourselves and others. With this, we can understand that we are imperfect and that this is part of the human condition.

Having compassion for ourselves, reducing self-criticism and negative comparison with others, helps in building self-esteem.

In therapy, it is usually asked that we indicate three characteristics that we like in ourselves.

Traumatic experiences impact our self-esteem. And traumas when they reach mental health should be treated.

Thus, also body self-image, especially in cultures where appearance is highly valued, with the establishment of beauty standards, gender expectations and socioeconomic status can affect our self-esteem.

On the other hand, high self-esteem can be an illusion and a mask to hide low self-esteem. It can lead the person to base their being on their skills and abilities that, in fact, they have but that do not always determine their success. Eventual failure affects even the competent ones, because many variables exist in situations in which we live that are independent of whether or not we do have capacities and abilities because sometimes it is outside our control.

High self-esteem usually leaves us self-centered on our own reasons, unwilling to listen and interact with kindness even.

Studies point to the well-being of stable self-esteem. It remains unwavering for longer and resists to different situations.

Its main aspects are:

1. Resistance to criticism: developed ability to deal with criticism in a constructive way, without this significantly shatting self-image;

2. Confidence in oneself: confidence in one's own skills and abilities, in order to face challenges and pursue goals with determination;

3. Self-acceptance: realistic view of oneself, recognizing qualities and defects without judging oneself excessively;

4. Resilience: capacity developed for rapid recovery from failures or adversities, without this drastically affecting self-confidence.

5. Coherence: little influence of external factors, such as praise or criticism, and remains relatively constant over time.

It is important to explain that stable self-esteem does not mean that the person will never have doubts about themselves or moments of insecurity. We all go through emotional ups and downs, but those with stable self-esteem tend to have a solid foundation of self-acceptance that helps them deal with these fluctuations in a healthy way.